Where are you, RapidMan?

If one can think back far enough, you may remember a pretty weird (awesome) mascot in the MLS. One that transcends all mascots. The man’s mascot.

Yes, you heard me correctly.



The Man. The Myth. The Mascot.


Is there a more bizarre mascot that has ever graced a soccer sideline? I challenge you to find someone who out-awesomes this guy. I don’t exactly get what he is supposed to be, but it looks like a muscle-y dude with hair that is either an icecap, or *gasp* rapids. His face is blue, and the smile makes me think that means he isn’t dead.

Also, the number that the Rapids gave him are actually not numbers at all. They are the molecular formula for water; H2o.

And to think, the Rapids actually got rid of this god of the touch-line for these dudes?

Edson the Eagle, Marco van Bison, Jorge El Mapache and Franz the Fox MAY be more kid-friendly, how could you get rid of the most awesome mascot in sports history?

Well, on that same page, they have an explanation for RapidMan’s disappearance:

” RapidMan, the club’s former mascot, made the 4th of July, 2007, his official retirement date. After being part of the club since the team’s inception in 1996, RapidMan announced plans to pursue other ventures.

The Rapids held a Testimonial Match in RapidMan’s honor at halftime of the Rapids’ July 4 game. In the soccer world, it is traditional to hold a testimonial match in recognizance of a player who gives 10 years or more of service to his club, and as RapidMan had served the Rapids organization for 12 seasons, the Rapids invited in several of RapidMan’s fellow mascots from around Denver and the world to participate in the game.”

You are going to tell me that this dude just retired? What are his other ventures? And by that I mean besides being awesome, all the time.

Also, the site mentions that RapidMan had a testimonial match on July 4, 2007. I want the entire video of that made public.

Colorado may have replaced RapidMan, which is absurd, but notice that they now have four mascots. To the untrained eye, that is an excessive amount. But the reality is, there is no one, two or even three mascots that could replace how incredibly badass RapidMan was. The Rapids are pushing it with four.

If you think that I am just being ridiculous, you are in dire need to watch this video:

Colorado plays Columbus in the second leg of their quarterfinals matchup Saturday at 4 p.m. The Rapids lead 1-0 on aggregate.

RapidMan is still nowhere to be found.

Bring him back.


2 responses to this post.

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Christopher Boulay, Christopher Boulay. Christopher Boulay said: New post from #ParkTheBus: http://bit.ly/9CRrWg "Where Are You, #RapidMan ?" #mls #coloradorapids #rapids #mlscup […]


  2. Posted by Mike on 07/03/2013 at 10:01

    RapidMan is the best!


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